Kill Puppies for Satan

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the annotated kill puppies for satan -orthe annotated your mother the annotated kill puppies for satan and cockroach souffle are ©2001, ©2002 and ©2005 by the author, all rights reserved and whatever. the illustrations are ©2002 by kreg moser. email him at mortis@cox-internet.com and hire him to do art for your game, yo. this is the luluduludulydoo version. maybe the final and official version, can you imagine that shit? kill puppies for satan yes every puppy you kill its innocent little s
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  the annotated  kill puppies for satan -or-the annotated your mother  the annotated kill puppies for satan and cockroach soufe are ©2001,©2002 and ©2005 by the author, all rights reserved and whatever.the illustrations are ©2002 by kreg moser. email him atmortis@cox-internet.com and hire him to do art for your game, yo.this is the luluduludulydoo version. maybe the nal and ofcialversion, can you imagine that shit?  4 kill puppies for satan yes every puppy you kill its innocent little soul goesstraight to doggy heaven with all the pretty doggy angels.fortunately satan doesn’t give a fuck. character creation take a piece of paper and write in big letters across thetop: i kill puppies for satan. that’s your character sheet.next write: my name is and put your character’s name. youget four stats, so write them next in a little column:cold, fucked up, mean, and relentless. the scale is 1 to 5,with 1 being normal and 5 being diabolical. leave a littlespace and then write: evil. killing puppies (and otheranimals) gives you evil, which you then get to spend on doingsupernatural evil things. now leave a big space and write:this many people hate me. this is where you keep track ofhow many people hate you.so there’s your character sheet. you get 11 points to spendon your four stats. yes, 11. just give each one a numberfrom 1 to 5 and make sure they add up to 11. remember thatsatan likes cheaters but the gm doesn’t.here’s what’s up with the stats.cold – this is how heartless and calculating a motherfuckeryou are. make cold rolls whenever you do something thatrequires exactness, patience, knowledge, or great care,like disarming a security system or reading a book. cold so satan calls me on the telephone this morning. it’swicked early.“uh?” i say.“hold for satan.”i do.“hey vincent,” satan says.“hey! it’s good to hear from you.” the thing about satanis that it’s true. you go too long without hearing his voiceand you start to miss him. i don’t think anybody adequatelyprepares you for that.“i was reading your blog and you’ve done pretty well foryourself, huh?” he says. “what with selling so much of thisgame you’ve made where you play good people trying to servegod and do good. i was pleased to read about that. send mea copy if you think of it, i’d like to read this good gameyou’ve made about serving god and doing goodness.”uh oh.“but look,” he says. “i have a ‘favor’ to ask.”“no no no,” i say. “no, no way. i’m done with that. done.please.” _________________________________ 
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